wearever whenever -- NOT!!

I cannot dress myself. No, I am not referring to a physical disability or a lack of coordination. To add clarity, I do not choose what I wear. Each morning every vestment that I select to drape upon my body undergoes a subtle yet mandatory approval process.
I don’t look upon this as an emasculation of my free will. It is simply what happens when two people commit to one another for the long term. It is my wife that has the final say.
If my first step at fashion sensibility is a faux pas, such as wearing red suspenders with my pink (did I say pink – I meant salmon) shirt, I will get a gentle laughing rebuke and then be guided back to the stay-in-until-you-get-it right closet.
Should I fluke out and get it right, I will receive a compliment.
Then there are the more confusing times when I receive a compliment that goes like this: “That is nice but this would be better”. This phrase seems harmless on the surface. It conveys a sense that at this point I could choose to wear what I have already donned or at my option upgrade to the “better” combination. It didn’t take long for me to discover that this phrase necessitates an escorted trip back to the closet with aid in disrobing and re-garmenting.
I must reemphasize that this arrangement is just right with me. I have other things to think about. Just so you don’t think I’m totally helpless, I want to state that I get to pick out my underwear and socks. Ok. Ok. Ok. I get to pick out my underwear. What is hidden does not need to be changed.
What underwear you pick out can make or break your day. As you move through the week and approach wash day the picking gets slimmer. The chances of being forced to wear something from the bottom of the drawer that pinches, squeezes, or bunches becomes more likely and can throw a background pall on your daily routine. You will comment to yourself “I should feel great today but something is bothering me but I can’t put my finger on it.”This past week my beautiful bride purchased two packs of great manties (man panties) for me. I have weeks of comfortable gaunche that will bridge even the longest wash day gaps. I am in bliss and my days are happy. The only thing that could be more perfect, is to wear a few good holes in them to mark the true bond that can exist between a man and his skivvies.