In this multicultural society I often catch myself being quite defensive. I can hardly be blamed for having a perception that every cultural idiosyncrasy seems to be resolutely protected by government fiat except the culture that I grew up with. This defensiveness has perhaps led me to being dismissive of customs that could indeed improve my life.
Thank goodness that I experienced an epiphany that enabled me to see past the wall that I had built around me.
The concept that was revealed to me was in regards to arranged marriages.
Yes, it was a rite that I ridiculed or even put down in outrage. But I have been overlooking the advantages that it has for all concerned.
Here are the benefits you receive when you get to choose your child’s spouse.
1) I have somewhat procrastinated in accumulating a vast fortune so wouldn’t it be great to choose in-laws that will share all their toys? You can surround yourself with interesting people that have super social functions and great vacation spots.
2) I can avoid drugged out lay abouts, biker types, tattooed freaks and most of all ugly people. If you are going to have to hug them, they may as well be attractive.
3) I can find individuals with the proper political and philosophical bent so that future conflicts are averted. It is always best to avoid blood baths when you can.
4) Perhaps the greatest reward is the comfort I will have in knowing that I can lift the weight of the world from the shoulders of my children. This is a more complicated world. It may not be audible but I can feel my children crying for relief. The awkward dates and insecurities will be a thing of the past. The heartbreak of countless broken relationships that would litter the path of their fumbling gait through the matrimonial mall would vanish. Gone are the days when they stumble through years of uncertainty until it is too late and the ovaries of my daughters are but shriveled prunes and I have been robbed of my genetic destiny.
As I write I am literally shaking with excitement of the moment when I reveal my grand scheme to them. I glow in the anticipation of seeing the strains of life flee from their visages and be replaced with a trusting smile. Yes, your father is looking after you.
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I want you to remember the manner in which I mercilessly pummeled you after I had read this post. Yes, you remember? Good. Now, recall the tears of pain you wept after I effortlessly destroyed you. Got it? Okay. Just keep that in mind when selecting my future spouse. The only reason I am accepting your plan is because I have your assurance that he won't be ugly, and he'll probably be rich. Excellent.
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