The precipice

I want to preface my story with the statement that I had not partook in any mind altering libations, pills, nor smoke and that my self administered trepan had long ago healed. In fact, I should have been in the best state of mental acuity having just completed two weeks of vacation. As I lay in bed, the only discomfort I felt was a little dehydration which was quickly washed away with a flagon of sweet water.
During the night, I was awakened by a nagging bladder that no amount of dream sponsered urination could silence. From this deep sleep, I staggered to my bedroom wall. Now I don't know if I felt I was still in the RV of my previously mentioned vacation, or that a dream had created an entirely different scene, but the door to the bathroom was not where it should have been. As the nagging from my bladder grew louder, I could not reasonably hear my own thoughts and only clawed harder at the wall trying to find my way out of the room in search of the facilities. Finally, I came to a sliding patio door. In the fog of my nocturnal stupor my mind could not quite compristand this new information. I should have woken up at this point save for the now screaming insistance of my waterworks.
I desperately flung the vertical blinds out of the way and found the locking lever. I pulled emphatically at the handle but the door did not budge. Something familiar about this door was entering my mind and I remembered the foot lock. I was able to release the lock with a push of my big toe and pulling at the same time the door slid open. I gazed through tiny slits grudgingly afforded by my sleepy eyelids. There were no stairs and what appeared to be about a four foot drop to the ground. Confusion swept over me but in the following instant I realized where I was, and nonchalantly stumbled to the bathroom and relieved myself. I then crawled back to bed and once more fell asleep.
As I awoke a recollection of the early morning excursion began to play back in my mind. As I realized that it was not a dream a pang of panic swept over me as I realized that I had been desperately trying to get out my patio door during the night. The problem presented by this action is that I have long ago removed a rotting deck from outside this door and as many projects around my home, a replacement has not been created. The outcome of my first space walk would have been a ten foot fall on to the rocks below. I shuddered at the fate that thankfully eluded me and in self defense laughed to dispel the dread.
These types of late night episodes have occured before and specifically forbid me from sleeping with a knife under my pillow or a loaded shotgun propped up near me. But these are other stories....